The other night Pillows was giving me a back rub after a long day of studying and I started getting this massive…'

'Verily I say unto you that should a man put oil upon a woman’s naked body and make her go upon all fours and bark like a dog while knowing her, if you know what I mean, then he has committed adultery, and surely if a woman does the same thing right back, well she has jumped on the adultery donkey cart her own self and if a woman should pretend to be a powerful queen and a man a lowly slave boy and if she should call him humiliating names and make him lick upon her body, then surely they have sinned like big dogs and woe onto the man if he pretends to be a powerful queen…'.

'Amid all the musical laments over not having a heart, a brain, or the nerve did anyone notice that they didn't have a penis among them? I'd think it would have shown on the Lion and the Tin Man, and when the Scarecrow had his pants de-stuffed, you don't see a flying monkey waving an arrant straw johnson around anywhere do ya? I think I know what song I'd be singing: 'Oh I would while away the hours/Wanking in the flowers/My heart all full of song/I'd be gilding all the lilies/As I waved about my willy/If only I had a schlong.''.

'He has asked if you would like to feel the power of his manly nakedness'.

'The Sin of Onan, the sin that takes hundreds of hours to get right, or at least what I told myself'.'Yah, I'm going to take advice from someone who fucks turtles.'.

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